Ni bintu bisanzwe kuba ikiremwamuntu cyakwifuza kuba kiri kumwe n’abandi bantu. Kuva umuntu avutse kugera apfuye, umuntu aba yifuza guhora ari kumwe n’abandi, yishima baseka bakina bagatemberera hamwe ndetse bakifuza kubarirana inkuru z’ubuzima bwabo.
Mu bushuti abantu bagira, hari ubwo bishakira ubwabo, hakaba n’ubwo umuntu ahabwa na kamere nta ruhare na rumwe abigizemo. Urugero kuba uvukana na runaka bituma mugomba kuba nshuti bidasabye ko mubanza kurema umubano hagati yanyu.
Iyo umuntu amaze kurema ubushuti n’aba bantu bose aba ameze nkaho ari umwe nabo aba abiyumvamo k’uburyo yumva yababwira ikintu cyose, uko yiyumva, amarangamutima ye, ibyo ateganya cyangwa yifuza kuzakora, agahinda afite, uburibwe cyangwa ububabare afite.
N’ubwo bimeze bityo, hari ibintu bitanu udakwiye kuzigera ubwira abantu bose rimwe na rimwe kubibabwira bigaragara nabi, ugasa nk’udafite icyubahiro imbere yabo aho kugira ngo bikubyarire inyungu.
Ntukabwire buri wese ibibazo byawe
Ntabwo ari umuntu wese ukwiye kubwira ibibazo byawe kuko muri iyi si buri wese aba afite ibibazo bye. Abahanga basanga nta mpamvu n’imwe yo kugenda ubwira buri wese ibibazo ufite. Buriya ni byiza ko niba ufite ibibazo ubyikemurira wowe ubwawe, utagombye kugenda ubibwira umuhisi n’umugenzi.
Hari imvugo yamenyekanye igira iti “Agahinda kamenywa na nyirako ariko ibyishimo birasangirwa”. Ukuri kuriho ni uko muri iyi si abantu 79% ntabwo bitaye ku bibazo byawe, 21% bishimira kuba uri mu bibazo, uri mu kaga gakomeye, udatera imbere ahubwo urimo gusubira inyuma. Bityo ntabwo ukwiye kuganyira buri wese ibibazo ufite.
Ntabwo ukwiye kubwira buri wese gahunda zawe, ibyo ushaka gukora cyangwa intumbero ufite
Ntukagire uwo ubwira ibintu wifuza gukora keretse igihe wageze ku ntego zawe. Abahanga mu by’imitekerereze (psychology) bavuga ko iyo ubwiye abantu ibyo wifuza kuzakora mbere y’uko ubikora, abantu bazabyishimira ndetse bagushimire, icyo gihe ntabwo uzaba ukibitekerezaho cyane nibamara kugushimira.
Birangira utagifite umuhate wo kubikora nk’uko wabishakaga kuko icyo wari ukeneye ko bamenya uba wamaze kubibereka. Icyo gihe haba hari amahirwe menshi ko ushobora kubihagarika cyangwa ntubigereho nk’uko wabyifuzaga.
Ntabwo ari byiza kubwira buri wese ibitekerezo byawe
Igihe ufite igitekerezo kidasanzwe (unique ideas) cyihariye ushaka kuzabyaza inyungu cyangwa wifuza kuzagira icyo ukora, ntabwo ari byiza kukibwira buri wese. Ahari birashoboka ko abo muhanganye bashobora kukwiba icyo gitekerezo, bakagishyira mu bikorwa mbere y’uko wowe wakizanye utangira kugishyira mu bikorwa. Ibi bizatuma urira wicuze impamvu wabivuze.
Ntukabwire buri wese ibanga ryatumye ugera ku ntsinzi
Ni byiza cyane kubika ibanga ryatumye ugera aho uri uyu munsi. Ntabwo ari byiza kumvisha uwo ari we wese amayeri yatumye ugera ku byo wagezeho cyangwa intsinzi. Impamvu udakwiye kubivuga ni ukubera ko umunsi yabikoze ntagere ku ntsinzi nk’uko wabimubwiye, bizatuma agushinja amakosa yose, azakwita umugambanyi, umuhemu, birangire nta wuvugisha undi, mube abanzi. Ahantu hose azakuvuga nabi, amakosa yose yabaye azajya ku mutwe wawe.
Ntuzigere ubwira umuntu amakosa yawe y’ahashize cyangwa ibyo wicuza
Ntabwo ari byiza kubwira abantu amakosa wakoze mu myaka cyangwa mu gihe cyashize. Kubera ko umuntu arakosa, akigishwa n’igihe ariko niba nta muntu uzi amakosa yawe y’ahashize, uzabyihorere wirinde kugira uwo uyabwira kubera ko izo ntege nke zawe z’ahashize zo ubwazo zizigaragaza. Buri gihe jya uhora wigira ku makosa yawe y’ahashize kandi ntugasubiremo ayo makosa, wirinde no kugira uwo uyabwira.
Ikintu cya mbere ukwiye kumenya ni uko nta nshuti n’imwe iruta kuba inshuti yawe ubwawe, ugomba kubanza kwikunda. Inshuti y’umuntu ni we ubwe. Amarangamutima wigirira ubwawe ntabwo wayagirira buri wese. Ikindi umuntu arikunda, mbere yo gukunda abandi. Ni byiza ko udakwiye kubwira buri muntu wese ibyo utekereza.
Niyobuhungiro David
