Mu gihe isi igenda ihinduka mu buryo bw’imibanire n’imyitwarire y’urubyiruko, urukundo rwagumye kuba kimwe mu bigize ubuzima bw’abantu, by’umwihariko abari mu myaka yo gushaka no kubaka. Hari byinshi bisaba gutekerezwaho neza ku muntu ushaka gukundana na we, bikanasaba kugira ubumenyi n’ubushishozi mu buryo bwo kwitwara n’uburyo bwo gushaka uwo mushobora kubana.
Mu Rwanda kimwe no mu bindi bihugu byinshi bya Afurika, usanga inshingano yo gutera intambwe ya mbere mu rukundo akenshi iri ku musore. Ariko se, ni gute umuntu yamenya aho ahera, cyane cyane muri iki gihe ikoranabuhanga n’imyitwarire byahinduye byinshi?
Dore ibintu by’ingenzi abashakashatsi n’impuguke mu mibanire bagaragaza ko byagufasha:
1. Reka gushakisha urukundo nk’ikintu cyihutirwa.
Ntabwo ari byiza kwitwara nk’umuntu uri guhiga cyangwa wabuze amahitamo. Igihe wihatiye cyane gushaka uwo mukundana, ushobora guhubuka ugafata icyemezo kitari cyo. Dr. Mukamana Vestine, impuguke mu mibanire y’abantu, avuga ko “kugira umubano ushingiye ku nshuti zisanzwe bitanga amahirwe yo kumenya neza uwo wifuza.
2. Menya kuvuga no kuyobora ibiganiro
Umusore cyangwa umukobwa ushaka kugirana umubano uhamye, akwiye kumenya guha agaciro ikiganiro. Uramutse usanze muganira, jya ugerageza kuba wowe uyobora ibiganiro mu buryo butari bwo gutegeka, ahubwo ugaragaza ko ushoboye gutuma muganira ku byubaka.
3. Irinde kuba wenyine buri gihe
Gusabana n’abandi, kugira inshuti n’umubano ushingiye ku biganiro bisanzwe bigufasha kumenyana n’abantu benshi. Buri muntu ashobora kuba umuyoboro wo kukugeza ku wundi, n’ubwo yaba atari we uzaba umukunzi wawe.
4. Gerageza gutumira umuntu wiyumvamo
Kugira intambwe ya mbere ntibisaba igikorwa gikomeye. Gusaba umuntu gusangira nawe ikinyobwa cyangwa kuganira muri parike ni uburyo bworoshye bwo kumwereka ko umwitayeho. Niba biguhangayikishije kubimubwira amaso ku maso, ushobora gukoresha ubutumwa bugufi cyangwa email.
5. Menya uwo ushaka
Si byiza gushukwa n’imiterere y’inyuma gusa. Mu gihe wifuza umubano urambye, jya ubanza umenye niba uwo muntu afite indangagaciro zihuye n’izo wifuza. Nk’uko bivugwa n’impuguke mu mibanire yo mu Bwongereza, “urukundo rurambye rufite imizi mu ndangagaciro zihurirwaho, si gusa ibyiyumvo byo mu gihe gito.”
6. Fata umwanya uhagije kugira ngo umenye icyo ushaka koko
Gusohokana n’abantu batandukanye bishobora kugufasha gutandukanya hagati y’amarangamutima y’agateganyo n’urukundo nyakuri. Ntugafate icyemezo kuko utinya kuba uri wenyine.
7. Jya mu bice bitandukanye, uhuze n’abantu bashya
Kwihuza n’imiryango y’abantu batandukanye, kujya mu bikorwa rusange, kwitabira inama, ibitaramo, imurikagurisha cyangwa andi mahuriro bishobora kukugeza ku muntu ushobora kukubere umukunzi. Ntiwamenya aho urukundo ruzaturuka, rushobora kuva no kuri mushiki w’inshuti yawe cyangwa umukobwa wahuriye nawe mu nama y’urubyiruko.
Mu gihe ushaka gukundana, ntugafate umubano nk’ikintu cyo gukina. Jya ugira ubutwari bwo kwemera ko hari ubwo bidakunda, ariko kandi ntutinye kugaragaza amarangamutima yawe mu gihe wumva ubyiteguye.
